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Alex's Blog

  • 6 Months In Pictures

    Current mood:okay

    I've always enjoyed photography.

    Cameras, video cameras and even projectors were a staple of my childhood - my Dad was always a keen photographer, he took some truly stunning black and white shots of my Mum during the early years of their marriage, way back in the 1970s - some of which I've only just seen. And as a kid I always remember there being a heavy camera with a dense a robust lens on many an office or coffee table. There were also numerous times when the video camera (arguably the size of bazooka at the time) was blinking it's red light at me, recording various high school Christmas Nativity plays (I was usually a Shepard) or when I was skiing in Europe, clad in an embarrassing puffy shell-suit, comprised entirely of a shocking array of 80's fluro colours. 

    I vividly remember Santa giving me one of those fantastic toy cameras (originally called The Viewmaster), where you would click and it clacked a new image in front of your eyes. I honestly thought it was the coolest thing ever, to the point where I deluded myself into believing I was taking a new photo each time (despite the reality of it continuously cycling through the same 10 photos) regardless of what was ACTUALLY in front of me. 

    The 10 pictures came on a card disc and were rather like the negatives you used to get with your photos using a 35mm camera. Each image was then magnified when you looked through the viewer, so that as a kid they appeared as large as a TV-sized image. It was certainly better than any Kaleidoscope I'd ever had, even if it was limited to a few photos. It made an awesome sound too. 

    I didn't get my own "real" camera until middle school, which funnily enough I won in the school raffle. I remember it was painted silver and it looked really expensive, but when I was given it, I was bitterly disappointed because unlike all the cameras I'd seen at home, this one was a light-weight, made of  nasty plastic, with a cheap airbrushed silver look, a no-name brand that didn't even have a flash. 

    Fast forward a few decades and I'd gone through a few digital cameras, always handy to capture parties and friends - but nothing that would really capture moments as it were. I use to pull some decent shots from my old Canon IXUS but nothing that I would ever call close to being "professional". So in late 2009, I invested in a Canon Digital SLR - several weeks rent, well spent as they say. 

    Since then, I've been putting it to good use and the definition and colour of my photos has come on in leaps and bounds. The difference is quite remarkable at times, even if the photos themselves aren't always living up to the capabilities of the device itself. I would never classify myself as a photographer, I'm acutely aware of my technical limitations and utter naivety about what makes a good photo. There are so many truly inspirational photographers out there in the world, who operate on an entirely different level, capturing images that defy logic and take your breath away. Photos that us mere mortals, could only ever dream of taking. 

    If you read this blog regularly, you'll know that 2010 has been an incredibly dramatic year for me. But along the way, I've had my camera by side - documenting it all, even at some of the most inopportune moments. I think that is what photography should be about, being bold, harnessing a sense of occasion and revealing elements of the world around us, which we are normally blind to or simply take for granted. 

    With these images below, I hope you're able to get some insight into the journey I've been on thus far, the places I've experienced and the emotions I've lived through since the start of 2010. From each of the places I've been to, I've selected photos of personal significance or simply because I liked the shot. 

    Simply click on any image to view the rest of the photos in that album, or view the entire collection on my Flickr page. 

    I hope you enjoy these photos, notice their faults, see their strengths and let the feelings and emotions I tried to convey in each, resonate with you. 

    Even now, some of these are hard for me to look at, but I think that's why I took them to begin with. 


    A Hard Day



    12:03 PM

  • My Dad Eddie

    Current mood:sad

     

    It was just our a month ago, that I was in the icy realm of the UK celebrating my father’s birthday, wedding and bringing in New Years Eve with him. Three wonderful moments in anyone’s life, sitting alongside one another in perfect unison on December 31st 2009 

    Already it feels like those dramatic 11 days were so long ago – but they will remain with me, both haunting and comforting me for the rest of my life. 44 hours up in the air, traveling along dark icy roads and celebrating my birthday at 33,000 ft over Eastern Europe admittedly wasn’t much fun, so it’s been an unusual and surreal start to 2010 to say the least. 

    It was a bitter sweet trip, the friends, family, conversations, laughs and smiles tapered with the unavoidable fact that my Dad is suffering deeply from advanced cancer, the pain of which is at times utterly debilitating and all consuming for him. 

    It is heartbreaking to see anyone in pain, but when it's your own father, wincing in his sleep, as you patiently wait for the morphine to kick in and provide some respite, it is one of the most confronting & distressing images I think any child can be faced with. 

    During one of his better days, I sat there in his office, as it snowed outside, the world on mute as he stared out to the white horizon and calmly said, "I'll be lucky to see out another Christmas like this". 

    There was a pause. 

    And then silence. 

    He said it not with fear in his voice but with a calm air of resignation, as if he had accepted the reality he may very well face. I on the other hand couldn't and still can't. It was a chilling premonition to reconcile and it's an even harder memory to now revisit. 

    I don't think any amount of words can’t accurately do justice to the way it makes you feel hearing an admission of such gravity. The words hang in the air like dense thick soup. It’s even more saddening when deep down, despite your best attempts, part of you is inclined to agree with that assertion. 

    I am truly a believer in the advances, power and resolve of science, I have a tremendous amount of faith and admiration for doctors. They helped him overcome the illness 10 years ago, but when you’re privy to terms like “quality of life” being banded around, it’s a sobering realization that there might not be a repeat performance. 

    But one thing I do know, with absolute certainty, is that December 31st 2009 will go down as one of the happiest days in his life, his wife Jules’ and mine.

       

    From the church to the reception, to the dinner and the celebrations – I watched with my camera from the sidelines, trying to capture moments, the real essence of the occassion, its wealth of emotions, the warmth of the day and the hopefulness which permeated all four corners of it. 

    And what I saw above all was my real Dad shining through, with his new wife and sweet-natured daughter (and my sister) by his side.

       

    He was utterly and thoroughly in the moment, to the point where I don’t think he even realized he was in pain. He reminded me of the man I had seen 6 years ago on my trip previously – larger than life, looking a little older but still as charismatic, bold and magnanimous as ever. 

    The distractions of well-wishers, outrageous stories, refills of red wine and unanimous bursts of laughter from the whole room utterly eclipsed whatever doom and gloom the previous days had brought.

       

    The look of anguish and frustration, which had been riddled across his face since I arrive a few days before, was replaced that booming laugh, his eyes often tightly shut in fits of giggles and his trademark smile sat squarely touching ear to ear. 

    Mind over matter say they say. 

    It was a day filled with endless smiles, heartfelt tears and recollections of wonderful stories - the likes of which even the most brilliant imagination couldn’t conjure up.

       

    What was almost instantly highlighted to me was just how much of an impact my Dad’s life, his generosity, support, advice and the experiences that he shared had genuinely had on others. I was deeply proud to be his son that day. I saw another side to one of the most important individuals in my life and it was a side, which I had all too frequently underestimated all my life I think. 

    And I knew deep down, that even if this was to be his final public appearance before his illness became too overwhelming, he couldn’t have asked for a better finale, it was a graceful, dignified, compassionate and deeply moving end to just one of the chapters in his life. 

    I can only hope that when I get to his age, that I too am surrounded by such fantastic company with so many true and genuine characters.

       

    It was as if we all existed in another place, a happier time, willing to leave our fears and preconceived ideas at the door and simply embrace each other - a genuine camaraderie brought and bound together by his legacy, love and friendship. 

    Getting married is suppose to be the happiest day of your life and I think the events of that day, with family and friends reunited, birthdays and New Years Eve celebrations entwined, all served as a rock solid signed, sealed and delivered declaration that everyone was utterly lost in the magic and memories of it all. 

    I can only hope, that at least some of my photos managed to capture even the faintest hint, of such a truly magnificent time in all our lives. 

    I love you Dad. 

    Your son Alex 
    10:17 AM

  • The Universal Dislike Of The Common Office Printer

    Current mood:amused

    funny-office-muppet

    We're supposed to be living in a technological age where everything is getting smaller, faster, cheaper, leaner, effortlessly intuitive and (thanks to corporations wanting to appease consumers) greener.

    In fact I'm of the opinion that any moment now, Apple will launch a brand new iPhone, one so small, thin and sleek, that it's invisible to the naked eye.

    It will be AMMMAAAAAAZING.

    Of course though, there is always one which refuses to play ball, runs truant and ignores the rules of innovation and change. This particularly unlikeable character, munches on an entire rain-forest at will, effortless induces outbursts of utter rage and manic violence from the calmest and most serene of people and in fact seems to be getting BIGGER as time ticks on.

    Ah yes, the trusty office printer.



    Originally heralded as the King Of Communication back in the 90's as it brashly tossed aside the humble fax machine from its administrative throne. The once poster boy of the office, however, is now the over-weight, passive aggressive and awkward looking kid brimming with issues that nobody wants to be friends with.

    Oh how the mighty have fallen.

    In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not the biggest fan of these ungainly, bulky and antiquated monsters of old. I can't really understand them - literally.

    They seem to forever spew forth an endless procession of error codes, abrasive beeps and misleading recommendations whilst grumpily sitting in the corner.

    "Error Code 845: Paper allotment low. See tray 7"
    (Despite, tray 7 to be filled with 80% paper.)

    "Error Message 845: Static char *usblp_messages[] = { "ok", "on fire"" }" (WTF? Does that even MEAN?)

    "Error Message 212: Your password must be at least 19,630 characters and cannot be a duplicate of your previous 39, 689 passwords"
    (Thanks for reminding me, I would have forgotten otherwise.)

    "Error Message 561: The error was not serious enough to justify halting the operation."
    (Oh that's ok then, nice to know. I feel more at ease now, knowing that something has gone wrong, but that it wasn't drastic enough to detract from the outcome.)

    And finally, there's even the classic error message, that wasn't even your fault.

    Innocently you wander over to print out your travel details (because you apparently prefer to have a hard copy to read off - wah?) merely to find that there is a malfunction created by someone else, who has since secretly slunk away.

    All of these errors, it seems they can only be decipher by one man. Your local printer technician called Bob, who will arrive sometime in September 2012 to fix things.

    printer-repair-man-bob

    Upon his arrival, he will begrudgingly break out his toolbox (which contains an allen key, stickytape and a pencil) and after 4 hours of fumbling away, he'll promptly stand up, dust his palms together and go " She's not working. I'll need to order parts."

    He'll then take the liberty of charging you $576.50 for merely telling you what you already know, that essentially your "printer" is a piece of shit.

    All the evidence points to one central question, why do we even HAVE printers?

    Have people never heard of the Internet and the trusty PDF?

    Think about it, do we REALLY need 10 people sitting around a boardroom, each with their own colourful 70-page PowerPoint print out, casually flicking through it, pretending to be interested, before duly launching them unread into the bin?

    I noticed a catchy little ditty on someones e-mail signature recently, it read "Go green, read from the screen." It made me think - the sheer space and size, maintenance and cost, rising stress levels amongst employees, endless toner cartridges & paper jams, sticky labels, call out fees and daily refills of rain-forest - surely cannot justify the need to "print" a single e-mail....can it?

    Before I go, I want you to know, when it comes to the universally loved printer - those boys from Office Space got it spot on, actions speak louder than words :)




    Speak Soon :)
    Alex

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    11:32 PM

  • Pornography: Is It Time For A Change?

    Current mood:thoughtful

    Pornography.

    Probably one of the most divisive and well-known words in the entire English language. For some, it's akin to inviting the devil over for tea, to others it can be an art-form, even inspirational and to anyone that has used the Internet, it's a multi-billion dollar industry.

    Just like the acts it represents, it's use, interpretation and impact on society has been highly controversial, often illuminating and almost certainly, always polarising. Today I want to look at where we stand on the issue.

    It's as old as civilisation itself, permeating literature, photos, drawings, sculptures, paintings, films, video games and print.

    sex-in-ancient-greece

    And whilst pornography is certainly not a new phenomenon (Over in Ancient Greece they were a little frisky, the The Karma Sutra provided them with the perfect guide), its modern-day accessibility (and thus further reaching consequences) has begun to re-write and re-wire the moral code and conventional opinions of our time. Or has it? Have things REALLY changed that much?

    In 1860 during the excavations of Pompeii, the Victorians unearthed depictions of confronting sexual imagery, dating back to the Roman Empire. Utterly mortified by what they witnessed, all of the 'offending' images, transcripts, paintings and relics were moved and stored in a secret location in Naples, Italy.

    Why so?

    Apparently, the upper crust of Victorian society couldn't possibly allow such open displays of sexual activity be seen, for fear of corrupting women, children and the general public at large.

    Depictions of sex were deemed immoral and likely to infect impressionable minds. That lead to the 'Obscene Publications Act' being passed in 1857 in one of the most repressed empires at the time, the United Kingdom.

    Which is a strange train of thought I must admit. The notion that everyone can have sex, but actually, in public at least, you have to pretend you don't.

    Thankfully times have changed. And we've gone from covering up the legs of our furniture, to being shocked when Britney Spears actually IS covering up at all.

    britney-spears-funny-photos

    With a medium that is so prevalent in our everyday lives (like those compelling late night TV commercials to get "Horny Russian Babes" on your mobile...) there will always be abuses of it. It has undoubtedly served as fuel for already disturbed minds, its resulted in young woman being held captive as sex workers and most disgustingly of all, it has lead to children and minors being abused.

    The same , however, could be said for the institution of war or the industry of arms proliferation. The format is the same - the abuse of the individual or the exploitation of a demographic, which ultimately satisfies the malevolent desires of others. Now that could be power over a race, control over a society or their own sexual gratification.

    rosie-child-soldier

    There will always be evil in the world, but I'm not entirely convinced that 'pornography' at its most basic level (consenting adults), is quite the bogeyman the conservative right often trumps it up to be. Whilst I wouldn't wish either on anyone, what's worse? The sex trade or the horrors of war?

    To try to categorize all the facets & permutations of pornography would take me hours, but regardless of format, its variations and interpretations are limitless.

    Make no mistake, there is a network, community, newsgroup and often entire movements dedicated to the whims, fetishes and picadilos of every single person on the planet. So if we're all looking, searching and partaking in indulging our fantasies - why do some people still consider them shameful secrets to have?

    bettie-page-fetish

    Does that make the people of the world's most fetish friendly city morally bankrupt, if they like to wear leather and get spanked with a hairbrush?

    Who am I to say it's un-natural or peculiar behaviour? More importantly, who is anyone to pass judgement on what two consenting adults do? People wearing lipstick are not laughed at or branded as looking like clowns, so why should someone wearing a latex outfit be the target of ridicule?

    It's puzzling to me that people often rely on the views of others, to tell them what is "kinky" or "subversive" - be it from religious leaders, your family, your local neighbour or token community standards.

    People inherently avoid talking about their sex life (ever chat to your boss at the water cooler about that gang bang you had last night?) and everyone has right to privacy (it should always be respected) but if it's "the great unspoken" taboo - how can these same people be in a position to decipher what is and what isn't acceptable? How are they even remotely informed?

    Would you be comfortable restricting all forms of sexual expression, pornographic or otherwise? I certainly wouldn't.

    If the people that are the least aware and receptive (and by that, I mean those who shy away from pornography regardless of form) see fit to describe and brand others as 'perverts' or 'sickos' maybe the harsh reality is that they themselves are 'blinkered' and 'limited' ?

    hr-giger

    For example, I would love to see the work of H.R. Giger on display in a local art gallery. But as we already found out, people even have strong views about the merits of pornography when it comes to artistic expression.

    It seems to me, if you wanted to be a painter, you'd gain valuable insights into the techniques used by painters, if you studied their work. Can't the same be said for people who enjoy sex and pornography? If you can hire a copy of the Karma Sutra from your progressive local library, why can't you hire the yearbook edition of Playboy?

    I have a very simple view on pornography (I'd like to think the majority these days share it with me, but you never know these days). It should have been created with the consent of those involved, it shouldn't be exploitative, it shouldn't contain minors nor should minors be exposed to it (with the exception of sex education at high school) and animals are think are best left to the farm yard.

    With those ethical rules in place, I don't see why pornography needs any other such restrictions. Surely there are more pressing restrictions needed in society.

    Why can you buy ammunition from Walmart so you can go and shoot up your University, but you can't purchase a copy of Hustler? That kind of backward logic astounds me at times.

    Isn't "Freedom of Expression" one of the most quoted and fiercely protected human rights of all time? Don't we have a right, as adults to decide what we view as entertainment?

    UFC-ultimate-fighting-championship-images

    We're a society perfectly at ease with broadcasting the Ultimate Fighting Championship, a show where skimpily clan men beat the living hell out of each other. But you'd be offending the locals if you had two attractive girls kissing on the big screen? Why don't we even have the right to choose? And if we do choose the vastly more appealing option, why is that considered shocking or immoral?

    girls-kissing

    If alpha-males fighting appeal to the primal sense thousands of years old, locked within each of us, surely pornography and the feelings it evokes, resonates too?

    There is nothing more powerful than the human touch and whilst I don't harbor any illusions that pornography is about love, it is nevertheless part of our genetic DNA - the primal instinct to mate, touch and pro-create. Somewhere along the line, with dolphins and chimpanzees, we decided we also liked doing it for the sheer fun of it. Pornography is our celebration of that ideal.

    Why is that such a shocking notion for people to entertain?

    I cannot understand the logical of YouTube willingly hosting a graphic and horrific video of a girl called Neda getting shot and dying on your computer screen yet they deem the concept of people having consensual sex on camera as offensive.

    Whilst I know there is an argument that the video is newsworthy, that it needs to be seen to drive home the reality of the situation in Iran - it is far more shocking in my eyes, to see a human being die in front of me, than it is to see people engaging in sexual acts.

    Maybe it's about time we asked ourselves, why is there one rule for violence and death, but another rule for pornography and entertainment?

    Alex

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    3:35 PM

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